"........When Change is the Challenge."
"Is This a
Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
and Warren are both recently retired executives. Craig's
wife, Marcy, owns and operates a website design firm.
Warren's wife, Sharon, owns an exclusive gift shop. Both
businesses are successful, and each woman finds business
ownership personally satisfying and rewarding. Both women
requested couples coaching for similar reasons. Their
husbands were interfering in their businesses.
and Marcy were newlyweds. It was a long-distance romance,
and they both were delighted when his retirement allowed
them to be together. His unspoken plan was to help her with
her business so that she could work less, and they could
spend more time together. Her plan, also unspoken, was to
continue to develop her business in order to sell it in a
few years and fund her own retirement.
enthusiastically earned his certification in web design. He
found the new information fun and refreshing after years of
heavy corporate responsibility. Marcy was delighted that he
was busy and happy, until he started to help her with her
work. She found his suggestions insulting. It was her
business, she was the expert, she supervised many designers
and negotiated profitable contracts. Now he, a novice, was
trying to tell her what to do!
and Sharon did talk to each other about their plans and
goals. Warren felt that his expertise could be put to good
use in Sharon's business. He convinced her that expanding
the business would create long term benefits for both of
them. She decided to go along with his ideas.
made plans together, expanded their capacity, hired several
new employees, and Warren started pressuring everyone to be
more productive. Sharon began to hate going to work. She had
loved the personal contact with her customers, but now she
spent most of her time managing employees and trying to keep
women knew they were angry about their husbands'
interference, but neither could communicate why. When the
men discovered the cause of their spouses' feelings during
the coaching process, both were astonished to learn about
the negative effects of genuinely trying to help their
wives. Neither of the men had thought much about how they
were going to find a meaningful way to fill their time after
retirement, and simply picked up what was convenient. As the
women learned to protect their own boundaries, the men each
explored their own options for finding fulfilling
couples do not know each other.
Coaching Tip: Life
planning for retirement is just as important as career
planning before retirement.
Copyright 2001, Empowerment Systems. May be
transmitted or reproduced in its entirety only, including
this copyright line.
Jonathan B. Weiss, Ph.D. and Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. have
helped thousands of people make significant changes in their
lives. Working together at Empowerment Systems for 29 of
their 40 years of marriage, they maintain a coaching,
consulting, and psychotherapy practice in Littleton,
· Colorado · 80120
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"Committed to helping people use all of
their inner resources
to create satisfying and fulfilling