"........When Change is the Challenge."

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Conscious Evolution

Sorting out the Truth 

Rae sat on the floor of her new clients office sorting through piles of paper and sneezing, realizing that she had made a mistake. He was not helping her organize his office as he had agreed to, and furthermore the place was really filthy. It looked as if the cat litter box had not been cleaned in months. Yet she had accepted the contract, and as a businesswoman, she prided herself on keeping her agreements.

Plotting ways to get herself out of this very unpleasant situation, Rae thought of a variety of stories she could tell her client so that he would "forgive" her for not completing the work he badly needed to have done. She kept discarding explanations: she wasn't sick (although her allergies were certainly aggravated by being around the litter box), no long term client had an emergency and needed her, she had not accepted a high paying job elsewhere, and neither of her parents were in the hospital.

Remembering reading my book "What is the Emperor Wearing? Truth-Telling in Business Relationships" and decided that lying would probably complicate her life. She felt telling him the whole truth wouldn't serve any good purpose either, and decided to tell him a part of the truth that she thought he could accept. She simply told him "I can't come back, I am allergic to cats." He didn't argue and she felt much relieved and proud enough of herself to share her story with me.

It is a challenge for many people to tell the truth in business situations. In fact, surveys have shown that most people lie about three times a day, or about as often as they eat.. People lie for three main reasons.

1. People are afraid to tell the truth because they may look weak or foolish, loose face, or get in trouble. Rae feared this, but it really didn't matter, because she did not want to have any further relationship with him.

2. They suspect and fear that the very people they should be communicating with may react badly when they hear an unpleasant truth. Rae feared this too.

3. Most folks want to be polite and avoid saying or doing anything that might embarrass someone, so they remain silent about very important issues. Rae's client still does not know the other reasons he lost his organizer.

Coaching tip: Explore the reasons why someone is reluctant to tell the truth. Explore the benefits of telling the truth. Then make an informed decision.

Jonathan B. Weiss, Ph.D. and Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. have helped thousands of people make significant changes in their lives. Working together at Empowerment Systems for 28 of their 39 years of marriage, they maintain a coaching, consulting, and psychotherapy practice in Littleton, Colorado, USA.

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Jonathan B. Weiss, Ph.D. and Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. have helped thousands of people make significant changes in their lives. Working together at Empowerment Systems for 28 of their 39 years of marriage, they maintain a coaching, consulting, and psychotherapy practice in Littleton, Colorado, USA.

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